Tuesday, June 3, 2008

My Virtue Of Patience Wavers

Apparently, vampires wasn't only on my mind. Yesterday, Russell rented Interview with the Vampire, and Martha had never seen it. It'd been a small while since I'd seen it, though I knew that Tom Cruise did a little to well creeping the bah-geezes out of me as the little-too-enthusiastic-to-be-a-vampire vampire. So, while I wasn't trying to not fall asleep (it's a long movie and it was past midnight), I payed attention to Martha's reactions, which are always a movie in themselves. I ended up being giggly most of the night, a cuddly.

I blame the whole experiences on Tanya and Jessica, who decided it was time for me to read a favorite series of theirs about vampires, though, to tell the truth, it's young adult and very much so romance. Sickeningly so. Apparently, four books worth of sickeningly so.

And, now, going to be a movie. The trailer looks cheesy, the characters don't look anything like I read and it makes everything so much more creepy than the books actually seem... And, yet, here's me, the girl who read the book and feels slightly excited to see it in person. When will I ever learn?

Besides the point, since I've gotten back into my vampire fantasies, I've been struggling not to buy Charlaine Harris' newest part of her series as well, whist also freaking out because September is drawing near, with True Blood, something I wrote about before. It seems I'm not the only one who wants some vampires on screen more often. Though I'm still awaiting who they've chosen for Eric, I'm still excited to see my favorite series come to HBO. HBO. A series. I love when it's a series because they don't have to leave so much out. I hope that's hint enough.

As it is, reading Twilight was pretty fun, to say the least. Since reading All Together Dead, I've been on a fantasy hiatus, no books interesting me or just plain too lazy to trust a title. Since I'd forced my books on Jessica, I found it only fair to read something she recommended.

God, were they in love with each other! They were so in love that I began to actually start being optimistic about that true love gushy crap! And it ended on such a sour note, too! She wanted to become a vampire, but let's not get into that (as much as I love to read about them, I don't think I'd ever want to be one...). I actually enjoyed it, and finished the book in two days. Besides myself, and never wanting to admit to anyone that I was on a love-high, I started the second, amazed I was so entranced and that I wanted more.

Let me explain. A seventeen-year-old girl goes to school, meets a boy who frustrates her to no end and they end up getting together. Normal. Many love stories start out that way. But then said boy is a vampire, has girl find out, he stays in her room at night, throughout the entire night, and they have no troubles with her knowing anything until one random vampire decides that he wants to hunt her down and kill her? I have to keep reminding myself and Tanya and Jess told me: This was a love story, not just with it on the side. It just seemed wildly irrational for a 110-year-old vampire, though still the age of looking 17, wasn't to fall in love with an actual 17-year-old and... I donno, not control himself.

I think that's why I got the love-high. By the end of the book, I'd bought the fact that love has no boundaries. And it was blissful.

And then that damn second book. By the third chapter, they were broken up and I ended up being on an emotional roller coaster Stephenie Meyer left no detail out of how excruciating it was to not be around the one you love. And then, when she finally seemed over it, she wasn't and he came back and then there was another boy involved...

Ugh, the complications were endless, and I'm very sulky to start the third. True love or not, vampires and werewolves aside, I have to say, I hate that love complication crap. I didn't want to be caught up with it in the first place, and I realized that, while the story was interesting in all that, I'm adjusting to the form of writing. Everything is so normal, and I can guess most of everything before it happens, which gets boring. Jess told me that it was science fiction for people who didn't like science fiction. But the love thing still catches me off guard.

It's probably why I'll start my next novel when I finally get off my desk duty at five.

I just keep trying to think of what else life means, as these portray that it's love and nothing else. I mean, there's more. But what really keeps us all from going crazy? I mean, I am bored. Bored. And reading these books have made it perfectly clear how incredibly boring not only my love-life is, but just in general how quickly I made a nice little schedule for myself. How life purposefully makes that schedule with having to work two jobs, try not to use my car for gas purposes, keep up to date with friends and conserve money as best I can.

A few weeks ago, I found my glow-in-the-dark stars and quickly placed them above my head where I could star at them a few feet away from me before falling asleep. My father, when we decided to go from my frilly pink room to sky-blue with green grass and clouds, used glow-in-the-dark paint to put stars in my sky. Every night, I'd stare up at them, touch them. Last night, when looking at my own stars, I couldn't help but think how much closer they seemed when I was a child. Everything seemed so much closer, and now it's so far spread, like thinning butter. I keep wondering when it'll run out.

I look at my boring life and every day wonder how I can spice it up. And I begin to see that perhaps I'm the only one who has a problem with it, and if I want to add some spice, I'll be the only one wanting to do it. It's difficult to get my friends to go spend the day at the beach, or just bike past it in the least. I think that's why I've been so unwilling to really talk with Mandikat, as she's doing exactly what I want to do, and can, because she has no financial worries in the least, besides her loans. She has a new boy on the prowl with her, no worries of gas, car insurance (car maintenance or anything car related for that matter), food, living, jobs... It's embarrassing for me to explain to her how I can't do many things with her because I can't afford to do much after spending the gas to get to her. Even if I had a car with great gas mileage, I don't think it'd be much different.

I just don't like the idea of being stuck. It makes my insides squirm, especially when it's boring me. I sometimes love the tedious, the without-thought-work. But when that's how life begins to feel, I feel this itch to run. Start a water balloon fight or something. Something besides working and doing the mundane details of life.

Some people would say "Welcome to life. Better get used to it."

But I don't think I have to choose that. I don't think I have to "get used" to anything if I don't want to. I just need someone to agree and not hesitate so much. If we really want to do something, I've always believed that it will happen when the mind is set (mostly because I've done it every time).

I'm bored. Come play with me!

Random Fact: The first TV soap opera debuted in 1946. It's fascinated the rest of our population for ages thereafter. Whether you want to be or not.

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