Dragons, Duh.

Justin:
Dragons are overrated.

Me:
How would you like to die? Choking or a simple gun shot?

Justin:
Gun shot.
For sure.

Me:
I'll have that arranged for your next terrible opinion.

Justin:
I didn't say I didn't like dragons.
Just that they were overrated.

Me:
Okay, you're not right next to me, so this killing thing may take a while.
I suppose an assassin would do.
Just have to be specific with what I need to happen.

Justin:
You're going to tell me that a dragon is cooler than a pterodactyl?
Not even close.

Me:
Are you KIDDING me.
Right now.
You must be joking.
Dragons breathe motherfucking fire.
Would obviously win in a fight against a pterodactyl.

Justin:
Really.
Really.
'Dactyls actually have had to fight for their food.

Mallory:
How can that be your argument?

Justin:
Dragons are just creepy mythical figures who are blown out of proportion.

Me:
YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
They are NOT crappy, they are NOT blown out of proportion.
They COULD be mythical.
I will give you that.

Justin:
Mallory.
If dragons did exist.
I would for sure be the person who treated them like chickens.

Me:
Chickens.
Are you kidding me.
You think a dragon would even allow you to treat them as such?
They're 20 bajillion times smarter than anything on our planet.

Justin:
I'm sure they taste like chickens.

Me:
Good luck trying to prove that.

Justin:
The meat could feed a village for a week.
And since they are pretty much like rats, that's how we would treat them.

Me:
Rats.
Did you just compare dragons to rats?
Rats don't have scaled armor.

Justin:
Did you just switch to "busy" to argue this?

Me:
No. I have auto times set up so people don't bug me just before, during, and just after lunch.
Stop skirting the issue!

Justin:
Rats.
With uglier skin.

Me:
Their skin is scales!

Justin:

https://www.google.com/search?q=rat+dragon&es_sm=122&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=0Xt_U_ecGMy2yASLlYDYAg&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1440&bih=839&dpr=1

Me:
Did you seriously just link to this? The rat and dragon are completely different years!
KNOW YOUR CHINESE ZODIAC.
Although, cow-dragon looks awesome.

Justin:
Compared to this.

http://portsidestandard.com/2013/04/04/headaches-continue-for-carnival-cruise-executives-following-pterodactyl-fiasco/

Me:
OMFG
I love that you're trying to Google School me.

Justin:
You mean you love that I won.

Me:

http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs40/f/2009/055/f/c/Seafang_Ridley__Pirate_Dragon_by_Engel_of_the_Wired.jpg

Justin:
Really.
Of course it would need a sword to attack a wussy old school ship.
Oooo, you're so tough.
Taking down a wind driven product.

Me:
That's to make people feel secure.
Before he burns their faces off.
Dragons are intelligent.
They can talk.

Justin:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/ptero

*drops the mic*

Me:
Exhibit A: http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3011942_700b.jpg
He doesn't say Pterodactyl Kick
It's Dragon Kick
SAME GUY
BOOM

Justin:
Not even ballpark.
Always a pleasure, Mallory.
I'm going to go grab some lunch.

--hour later--

Justin:
Question.

Me:
Yes?

Justin:
You think My Little Pony is awesome, too, don't you?

Me:
No.

Justin:
Well, you like wimpy animals.

Me:
Wow
Just
Wow

Justin:
Just making an observation.
Dragons, ponies, tiny little lizards...
All similar animals.

Me:
I'll bet I can find a Japanese film of Pterodactyls vs. Dragons.
And dragons would totally win out.

Justin:
Would a pony beat a T-Rex?
Because that is pretty much what you're saying.

Me:
How tiny do you think dragons are??

Justin:
Crapping rainbows only get you so far.

Me:
That's UNICORNS.
Unicorns do not equal dragons.

Justin:

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/29300000/My-Little-Dragon-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-29339533-569-700.jpg

Me (lying my ass off because both sides have this):
At least there aren't romance novels about making love to dragons.

 http://geekologie.com/2013/09/some-lady-is-cranking-out-dinosaur-roman.php

Justin:
What the h.

Me:
Look like your dino has a bit of a soft side.
Or should I say "hard"?
BOOM.