I sometimes wonder where the disappointment starts and ends... with me or what I feel the disappointment is coming from?
Most of the time, when I can get away from myself, I can see what I am really disappointed/frustrated/angry/gut-wrenchingly-anxious about. And it's me.
And it works with anything. I'll be angry that a friend is having a great time because I wish I were having a great time, not because they didn't invite me.
We're selfish like that. As selfless as we wish to be, we all want to be included, marveled about and something unique and interesting.
And we're not. Individualism is such a joke. Myspace/Facebook pages? How many people have one that's just so individualized? I'm not the first, or last, person to wear black. To have bangs that get in my eyes. To have cat-eye glasses. To like comedians, watch a youtube clip or read an obscure book.
But I still like to think I have something no one else has. It's hard to believe it, but I try. It'd be depressing to think of how useless things are consistently.
However, I must say, there is a comfort in knowing we aren't alone. Feeling that someone knows where you're coming from. Saying something and having someone agree. Even the most unique person in the world needs someone to agree with.
It's been an oddly tough week for emotions. For everyone. The first few weeks of school is so hopped on wanting to be liked, testing boundaries and balancing out the semester... I'm blessed with being able to not only handle it, but also having the support around me to do so (that includes my residents).
All I hope for this semester is less drama. Especially between staff.
Oh, and sleep. Love sleep.
Random Fact: the average person laughs 13 times a day.