Me: So, I left the top off my Jeep today, and it rained like crazy.
Me: It's not as bad as I thought it would be. I think some towels and time will make it okay. I just feel dumb.
Jesse: Heh. That's what happens when you take your top off.
Me: ...oh, you're hilarious.
I could see the smirk through the interweb.
Besides me being cocky and leaving the top off the Jeep in a state of non-paying attention, I also get to add to my list forgetting to open the front desk today. My credit is building so high, I can feel it (total sarcasm for those who can't read).
There is no defense, but a slight explanation of being dumb by staying up until the 4am mark the night before. It started as just possibly watching a movie and turned into long conversation/hotseat. I encouraged it, as I don't particularly like horror films/lame thrillers, and it turned out to be a lot of fun, asking questions and learning more about each other. By the time it came to me, it was almost 4, so I squeezed out of the questions because everyone was so tired. I got up thinking it was Sunday, as we didn't have school, and took my time taking a shower, dressing, eating some breakfast with some residents... By 1:00, one of my residents came to me and asked if the front desk would ever open today, and I realized what had happened.
I wasn't the only one who forgot, which makes me feel a smidgen better... but I still wish I had convinced Josh to place me for a couple of hours somewhere. I'd feel less guilty, and more like I was doing the job I'm meant to. Josh is just such a nice guy, though--or maybe he's that mean, letting the guilt lie in so I'll never do it again. Hm.
As it is, I wrote down my schedule yet again to make sure there wouldn't be any more screw ups. I also don't think I'll do anything much else as an apology--I love making scarves or writing letters or making a drawing, but I sometimes don't realize that some people aren't as personable as me. My relationship with Josh reminds me of a boy I met at Perpich my senior year of high school. My huggy personality had me wrapping my arms around him, but the tenseness told me it was too much too soon. That was the moment, the second day in the dorms as a senior, that I realized I needed to take a closer look into other people's personal space. I'd been so used to people being so carefree about it, I forgot that there were people who still had their boundaries. I still do.
As for classes, I have to admit, I'm adoring my Mass Media and Society class. It's particularly fun because of all of the freshmen. For a first class, we've read The Media is the Massage by Marshall McLuhan, whom I adore as well.
I could listen to my teacher all day. His way with words, sense of humor and philosophies are enthralling. I love hearing his concepts, and if I ever find myself disagreeing, I find myself still wanting to hear his reasoning. In the few classes we've had, I've already got high regards.
The just-under-an-hour-class (way too short) has us going on technological determinism, understanding our system so we can survive it and thinking of the terms that Harry Potter isn't magic, but science fiction (best surprise of my life).
I smile so much in the class as I hear people speak their minds, questioning everything. They are looking at themselves and their environments, and the feeling I get when they suddenly look around is amazing. I can literally feel the air crackling with the brains working, between confusion and understanding.
It's classes like these that make things worthwhile.
As for anything else, it's been an intuition kind of week. Mandikat's sister-in-law's water broke, which I couldn't stop squealing over him via phone when I heard the news. However, the next morning, I suddenly woke up, feeling very uncomfortable and heavy hearted. It slowly ebbed, but when I talked to Mandikat later that morning, I found that Jamie had had to have a C-section, and it was a scary moment of whether things were actually going to be alright for both mother and child. Thank the lord, things were fine, but then other emotional things began to happen with my best friend, with some members on staff that I had become close with and myself in general.
I get nervous when I feel anxious for no reason now-a-days. I thought I had come to some great terms with my intuition, but I don't like feeling something when I don't know what's going on. And it sounds dumb when I talk about it, so I tend to keep my mouth shut until I hear something.
I am a firm believer in intuition. We all have that gut instinct that, for some reason, our society doesn't put enough belief on. How many times have you, in general, thought about something for some unknown reason, such as perhaps taking a short cut to work, but then decided the long way was just as fine, only to find out that there's a traffic jam and you're an hour late? The simplicity of, "Oh, I should charge my phone tonight!" but then figuring nothing will matter enough to need it... until you realize that you got stuck in the middle of nowhere, or it dies in the middle of an important conversation.
I've gotten used to taking upon my whims. If I see a pen laying on a table just before I leave for class and think "Oh, I should bring that," I bring it, even if I already have a pen. My chances prove that my neighbor needs to borrow it.
But I think the most underestimated type on intuition is about people.
People talk about how important first impressions are because people aren't dumb. And, sorry, but no matter how well you dress or seem, there is that sense of knowing. It's so easy to pay attention to other's. The soft expression of someone when they think no one is looking, the look behind someone's eyes when they smile... I, personally, can tell in a hug how someone is feeling, and I'm sure it's not that hard if you really pay attention.
Attention. The span really is quite short. I sometimes wonder if reading is now skimming, listening is hearing and looking at is now staring (you know, the glazed look of boredom).
I guess the point is, attention and intuition go hand-in-hand. Looking around at your surroundings, paying attention to not just the skim of what's on the surface, but the more. It's actually a lot more interesting as well.
Random Fact: It’s estimated that at any one time around 0.7% of the world’s population is drunk.