On Duty

I know I haven't updated for ages, but I feel like I have a legitimate reason, which is the end of the year stresses. There is just too much going on for any body's health.

Technically, I was done with finals last Thursday. I was given an extra day in two of my classes to fix some smudges here and there for portfolios (everyone got it), and then I went home for the weekend to spend Mother's Day with family and friends. I then got back to a time of being on the brim of constant panic. I don't have anything to panic about, but I've gotten the bug just when I thought I'd puked it out.

Most of it is just nerves for summer. I want it to begin so bad, my brain hurts. I'm consistently in my room for check outs, when everything is happening for goodbyes at a different time. That's the thing about being an RA. When the fun is happening, you usually have to say no--it's what I've signed up to do, so I'll live with it, but most of my Senior friends are having get together times that I truly wish to be involved in. Who the hell knows when I'll officially see them again? They're going out into the real world. I've a few years before I can finally make that step in the forevers.

Of course, there are other stress-related things, for sure doing with the relationship statuses of the everyone. Mandikat broke up with her boyfriend of seven years, people are getting engaged like the plague whilst others are getting pregnant/married within the next months. Others are considering/have cheated on their "significant" others.

To be honest, it's a hard choice to say which disgusts me most. Seeing people kind of throw their lives away by marrying young and having kids, money lost on the college never well spent or the thought of people cheating. Probably the cheating. I get a little sick whenever I think of myself in any of those positions. For myself, I am too young to want myself to have a kid or get married; I have the dreams and goals for my future that includes the money I've invested.

But cheating? I don't care what it is. There is harm. Betrayal of trust. It embodies everything that... I hate? It's a hard thing for me to not be judgmental of. It's something that can be avoided by the choices we make. It never "just happens". Something has been leading up to it, and if it happens, then those choices from the beginning should not have been made.

I'm tired. Extremely so. I'm on a constant go. I can't even take precious naps, as there's always a phone ringing or a door knocking. You think I'm bragging, that I think of myself in popular demand. This is just the end of the year.

But I have my happy moments. I brought more things up from home to make my stay in the same room for the next year and a half more comfortable. I've been playing Mario Kart Wii in any non-working waking hour. I walk the puppies at the Humane Society, play Guitar Hero with friends and have some of the most memorable conversations with people I now consider to be best friends.

College really is some of the best years of my life. And I plan on continuing that factor, even after my education is finished.

Random Fact: The common belief that dogs are color blind is false. Dogs can see color, but it is not as vivid a color scheme as we see. They distinguish between blue, yellow, and gray, but probably do not see red and green. This is much like our vision at twilight.