May I please just ask what the hell is going on with our government right now? Does this mean that we are officially corrupt? Can this really justify it all?
How am I supposed to react? What am I supposed to tell people? Things that I have just found out today, which have been going on for weeks... Years in the sense of it been going on, weeks in the sense of them finally telling us...
I just don't know how to react when I see things like this. I don't know how to react when I see the country that I love suddenly show the world the ugliness people have.
I am sad. I am terrified of the world I live in. I am livid at not just my government, though.
We can do better than just creating riots, using violence and making rude gestures towards injustice. Where in the hell will that drive our nation?
And yet I sit here, confused. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how to react. I don't know where I should go, how to respond to anything, give any excuses.
All of my life, I have believed that I don't live in a world where people are okay with ruthless murder. Where a corporation will help towards the success of curing cancer, despite pharmaceutical needs going down because that means we are saving millions. Where no one understands a true reason why millions can die.
It hurts so much right now.
And I can't get any information. It's the same things, over and over and over....
I can see why Americans are depicted as arrogant jerks. When something happens in another country, it barely ripples the waters to effect our nation. But when something in America happens, it floods the world.
We have all this power... And though it sometimes gets used for good, the bad just keeps happening over and over again... All this greed and power that people feel we have to use continually.
I don't have much right now. I'm in New Zealand. I'm around in a country where they have no school shootings, no massive nuclear wars or thoughts about corruptive government. In a land of 4.22 million, they have managed to keep so much of their culture. They are seeing the environmental problems and fixing them. They are showing respect.
But I don't want to just leave and stay where I can turn my head. I feel as if that's what I've been doing inside my country anyways. I want to believe. I want to go back and do something to create what I'd always believed our country was about. I want that trust back again. And I know it's possible because of the people I have surrounded myself with. If I have the beauty of my family, my friends, the smallest amount in this world, there are more to be found. And that is something I can believe in.
I refuse to see this as a lost cause.
I hope that I am not the only one right now who is still believing. What else do I have? I can't do anything else except push all of my thoughts into knowing that good will come.
I've promised my parents that I will make a difference in this world. Seems like now is just as good as any.
Random Fact: There is always something we can do.