I'm Tired.

Seriously, though. The title isn't lying. I'm tired.

My roommate very firmly told me today that she was canceling our internet/cable/phone company bill thingy. I was stunned, if only because she walked away immediately after she said this, but I was able to understand why after she muttered the fact that she hated having her name signed on things.

Our "former" roommate, Bruce, hasn't been keeping up his end of the bargain, which is why we were originally able to afford the whole dealy-ma-bob in the first place. She's been paying extra without telling me, and it's difficult to pay for things while in college, especially when we can't get enough hours in at work as it is between classes and the need for sleep. I know too many people taking off semesters because they just can't afford college in general. And they live at their parents' house.

I often take a glance overseas and envy those who are able to get free college. I heard in Cancun, you get free college by just spending six years after you're done committing to that specific college, which pays for your anything and everything. In Sweden, books, tuition, everything is free and anyone can go to college, but taxes are higher.

Can you imagine? anyone being able to go to college. It's a dream come true for most people.

And yet, here I am, almost one-thirty in the morning, sniffles attacking my nose and me wondering if I should officially print out twenty-one copies of a story I wish I didn't have to hand in for a class. Paranoid about the car starting in the morning and the fact that, no matter what, I'll never truly get enough sleep, even if I do try to "catch up".

It's times like these that being an optimist can either bring one down or bring one up. It's easy to say "it has to get worse before it gets better!", yet that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. But giving up is too easy. Lame, really. Trucking along just somehow makes it strong.

I remember my mother once told me that everything always works out best in the end because it's supposed to be that way. She's always told me that I'd know what to do when the time came, listen to my intuition (which has gotten me out of plenty of trouble in the past, along with in trouble) and know it's for a reason. I never really question that, oddly enough.

I suppose when something works, why stop, right?

New Zealand. I'm finding a way to you. Don't worry.

Random Fact: Final Fantasy was named so because the company was going out of business and decided to put everything into that last game, their own final fantasy. Twelve times over, they're making millions and still using the name. And have many boy characters that look like girls.