This Shitty Week Needed A Conversation Like This

Justin:
I bet unicorns were invented because the poster industry was struggling to capture the six year old demographic.

Me:

You don't think it was based solely off of the fact that there could have been a unicorn genocide? That, perhaps, they were slaughtered after falling into a false sense of security due to the rareness and magical properties of their horns?

Justin:
Not even a little bit.

Because what would an animal do with one horn on their head.

Now, if they were like an elk, and had a huge unicorn rack, then I would believe it.

Me:
STAB PEOPLE WITH IT.

Think about it.

Isn't that what YOU would do with one horn?
It's like a sword.

Super dangerous.

Justin:

A sword you wear on your head.

Now, if that was on your elbow...

Yes, it would be a sweet weapon.

Me:
...an elbow.

That is where you would want a random horn.

Justin:
Yes, I would want a random horn on my elbow.

It's out of the way, but still weapony enough.

Me:

You'd be fighting like a T-Rex.

Unless your horns are long, in which case, extremely annoying.

Choose another part of your body.

Like your forehead.

Justin:

I sleep on my stomach too much for that.

Me:
I didn't realize we'd be taking about sleeping patterns.

I suppose if you were born with a horn on your head, you'd adapt.

Justin:
You have to think about everything, Mallory.

Me:
It's not like you'd kill the unicorn to steal the horn and have it sewn into place on your head.

....right?

Justin:
No comment.

Me:

I am unsure what this says about your character.

Or mine, for that matter.

Justin:

It says we're realistic.

A good moral for any story, really.