Tuesday, January 21, 2014

This Shitty Week Needed A Conversation Like This

Justin:
I bet unicorns were invented because the poster industry was struggling to capture the six year old demographic.

Me:
You don't think it was based solely off of the fact that there could have been a unicorn genocide? That, perhaps, they were slaughtered after falling into a false sense of security due to the rareness and magical properties of their horns?

Justin:
Not even a little bit.
Because what would an animal do with one horn on their head.
Now, if they were like an elk, and had a huge unicorn rack, then I would believe it.

Me:
STAB PEOPLE WITH IT.
Think about it.
Isn't that what YOU would do with one horn?
It's like a sword.
Super dangerous.

Justin:
A sword you wear on your head.
Now, if that was on your elbow...
Yes, it would be a sweet weapon.

Me:
...an elbow.
That is where you would want a random horn.

Justin:
Yes, I would want a random horn on my elbow.
It's out of the way, but still weapony enough.

Me:
You'd be fighting like a T-Rex.
Unless your horns are long, in which case, extremely annoying.
Choose another part of your body.
Like your forehead.

Justin:
I sleep on my stomach too much for that.
Me:
I didn't realize we'd be taking about sleeping patterns.
I suppose if you were born with a horn on your head, you'd adapt.

Justin:
You have to think about everything, Mallory.

Me:
It's not like you'd kill the unicorn to steal the horn and have it sewn into place on your head.
....right?

Justin:
No comment.

Me:
I am unsure what this says about your character.
Or mine, for that matter.

Justin:
It says we're realistic.


A good moral for any story, really.

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