IM Conversations With My Cooky Co-Worker

Me:
I wish I could learn things like The Matrix.
I want to know how to play every single instrument on the planet.
Universe, really.

Justin:
Even the xylophone?

Me:
Why would that be the instrument to leave out?
Do you have something against xylophones?

Justin:
Yes. They are such a dirty instrument.

Me:
Excuse me?

Justin:
They sound gross.
Muddled.

Me:
Um

Justin:
Dirty.

Me:
Huh.
Were you playing with a box that had rubber bands around it as a child?

Justin:
Negative. Though it would probably sound better.

Me:
So, you would rather me learn how to play a washboard for music than a xylophone?

Justin:
Truly, what songs are written for the xylo?

Me:
Hot Cross Buns.

Justin:
True.
I think the Kookaburra song was as well.
Him mocking in his old gum tree.
Eating all the gumdrops.

Me:
I think the xylophone is Candy Land's choice of instrument. Like a state bird.

Justin:
Of course it is.
I bet you didn't see this conversation progressing quite this way.

Me:
I can't foresee how any of our conversations will pan out.
Ever.
I look forward to them.