Did I find a Werther's in a random skyway -- yes.
Did I debate on eating it -- absolutely.
Did I stop walking to think about it -- probably.
You have a problem.
And I think we need to have an intervention about it.
Do you think that.
At least it's not dangerous.
Like jumping out of aeroplanes and such.
You're contemplating street candy!
It was wrapped!
Not like it was just a piece of dirty candy laying on top of a trash can or something.
It was a TRAP.
You don't waste butter candy.
Probably needles in that thing.
No one does.
I suppose what I should be remembering is that you made the right decision and left it there.
But I can just see it!
The one day you decide it's worth a try.
And it'll be attached to some fishing rod.
And you'll follow it jumping across streets and byways.
And you're going to be kidnapped.
All for a Werther's.
The opportunity rarely arises for such wonderful, unsuspected joy, Mallory.
This was a few times in a lifetime opportunity.
It's like finding a twenty dollar bill on the ground.
Or someone offering you 200 bucks for your tie because they "just have to have it".
Or beating all 9 bazillion levels of candy crush without spending a dollar.
I can't believe this is what you're comparing Werther's to.
Or your kidnapped murder.
And you say me jumping out of a plane is crazy.
Maybe it's someone like me, just trying to give the world a bit of joy.
Or maybe it was someone who stashed it for after lunch and when they went to grab their phone and it flew out of their pocket.
Or maybe it was a kidnapping murderer.
Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go.
Between these daily conversations and the snail mailed ghetto flash cards my other co-worker sends me, it's rare I can have a completely horrible day at work.