Justin:
Did I find a Werther's in a random skyway -- yes.
Did I debate on eating it -- absolutely.
Did I stop walking to think about it -- probably.
Me:
Justin.
You have a problem.
And I think we need to have an intervention about it.
Justin:
Do you.
Do you think that.
At least it's not dangerous.
Me:
Not dangerous?!?!!?!?!
Justin:
Like jumping out of aeroplanes and such.
Me:
You're contemplating street candy!
Justin:
It was wrapped!
Not like it was just a piece of dirty candy laying on top of a trash can or something.
Me;
It was a TRAP.
Justin:
You don't waste butter candy.
Ever.
Me:
Probably needles in that thing.
Justin:
No one does.
Me:
I suppose what I should be remembering is that you made the right decision and left it there.
But I can just see it!
The one day you decide it's worth a try.
And it'll be attached to some fishing rod.
And you'll follow it jumping across streets and byways.
And you're going to be kidnapped.
And die.
All for a Werther's.
Justin:
The opportunity rarely arises for such wonderful, unsuspected joy, Mallory.
This was a few times in a lifetime opportunity.
It's like finding a twenty dollar bill on the ground.
Or someone offering you 200 bucks for your tie because they "just have to have it".
Or beating all 9 bazillion levels of candy crush without spending a dollar.
Mallory:
I can't believe this is what you're comparing Werther's to.
Or your kidnapped murder.
And you say me jumping out of a plane is crazy.
Justin:
Maybe it's someone like me, just trying to give the world a bit of joy.
Or maybe it was someone who stashed it for after lunch and when they went to grab their phone and it flew out of their pocket.
Justin:
Or maybe it was a kidnapping murderer.
Mallory:
Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go.
Between these daily conversations and the snail mailed ghetto flash cards my other co-worker sends me, it's rare I can have a completely horrible day at work.
No comments:
Post a Comment