Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Yes, I Would Have Sex With That Man

Let me start this off properly: Despite what any female will say, it is quite a known fact that when a female meets a male, she will depict within moments on whether or not she is attracted and will then place the male into one of two categories--sex, or no sex.

This starts at an early age, although it is never known when the female finally realizes that she is placing the males into these particular groups.

Probably around the age 15. Or 25.

Either way, here's the point: Tom Hanks? Yes, I would have sex with that man.

Let's review why.

This man is an every day man. The every day polite, hard-working, sexy man.

Some of you may be judging the word "sexy" here. May I remind you, there are many different ways to be sexy?

There's the oozing of sexy one gets by being absurdly hot--the kind of hot that nobody remembers anything else about you because you have nothing else to offer (ex. Colin Firth. I mean, come on--anyone really remember any movie that could have made him this popular? It's all the accent and body).

There's the funny sexy, where charm enters. This doesn't mean one is necessarily hot, even (I don't think Shatner got where he was for looks...). Although, I do have to say, Ryan Reynolds has got my vote for this one. Even in a beard, that man's got it good. I don't even care that people don't find him funny all the time, he's just--

I'm getting off track. This isn't about how much I'd love jump on Ryan Reynolds' back, point to the sky, and yell, "Yip, yip!"

This is about what type of sexy Tom Hanks is.

He's a polite sexy. Ever meet a genuinely nice guy who can actually apologize for wrongdoings? I've met one: my father. Doubtful I'd ever see that again, along came Tom Hanks. I mean, here Tom says something that I'm positive half the world was thinking, and he apologizes like a man despite the many of his supporters. Just saying.

He's smart-funny sexy. And dumb-funny sexy. True story. He is.

He's "every man" sexy. Mr. Tom Hanks' appeal comes from the good-father, normal body, down-to-earth sexy. There are times when you realize how normal he looks, and other's in which you realize how sharp he really is and understand how he got to be where he is now (and hasn't gone completely insane, since he's normal).

Tom Hanks is just that guy who every woman would place into that category of Sex.

And did I mention his children? Because a man who can produce such attractive kids? Yes, I would have sex with that man that much more (it's just science).

Fun Fact: Yes, I do like Ryan Reynolds. Many find him to be an unfunny character who tries too hard--and I don't. So sue me.

Fun Fact 2: I mean, seriously. He made Blade 3. That film would have bombed had it not been for his obvious jokes. At least, bombed more.

Fun Fact 3: David Tennant. Yes, I would have sex with that man, too.

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