Saturday, July 12, 2008

All I Ever Wanted

There's something that I learn repeatedly every day, and every time that I learn it, I'm surprised.

Life & Love is never how you expect it to be.

And I mean never.

I'd love to blame movies and all that jazz that blindsides us whilst we're young, to be honest.

But, it's true. People lie, steal, cheat--we all know this, but don't we all still have that exasperation in our voices as we explain how the situation went down? People aren't always what they seem, either. No matter how well you will know a person, there will always be something that will ripple the waters. If you can, you can see that it's a beauty, really.

But, every day, I feel as if I'm learning something about life that I will forever need to hold dear and make sure to use for the rest of it, but then something else comes that negates it and I have to re-learn... The cycle shall continue.

It's really just how I decide to deal with the situation. I find I spend many times in my room, relaxing after working from 6pm until I go to bed. I'll sometimes feel bad, that I'm doing as such, rather than being the social bumblebee that I could be, but I sometimes like it better, to lock my door, get in my comf-ies and be myself. None of that constant chatter, need to pay attention to others or thinking of how others look at me (which, I've become to realize is either too much or not at all). It's just me and what I feel like doing. A control rarely found. Goodness in the role of solitude.

But then there's boredom. I sometimes think that nothing can please me. And when video games seem the same old, I realize that I need to get out more. Such as watching a television show and finding something else to do to release the boredom of watching the show. If I'm finding something to do out of something I decided to do...

My current view on the world isn't necessarily a great one. I hate our corporate, money, selfish behavior... And I feel that this mundane work, sleep, eat will never satisfy me completely. The thrill of travel and not knowing what's next is much more appealing than slowly waiting for age to creep.

But I'm much too tired to really delve into this... I have a Birthday Bash to attend tomorrow!!

Random Fact: My mom is 50!! Woot, woot!

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