I spent a good quality of time on a self evaluation for my Resident Assistant position, taking it seriously and really writing about how I did and what I feel I should work on. About 5:30am last night, with only seven questions left, I decided I needed to get some sleep, though I had started the process at about 11pm.
I slept, got up and started working at the front desk at 10am-12pm, in which my time was spent talking with my next year Hall Director and our newest RA, who's been around less than a week.
I then spent another hour an a half finishing the questions up. When I picked up my printed copy from downstairs, the front desk worker had set it aside. "How'd you know?" I asked, basically teasing because that meant she had read what I'd printed out to see that it was more of an "RA's eyes only" material.
"Oh, Dan had printed his out just before you."
I picked mine up and saw that Dan's was significantly... shorter than mine. He had two pages. While I had six.
Thinking he had skirted the issue, I said, "Make fun of him when he picks it up!"
I met up with Russell and asked him how long his was. His was two pages.
When I got to the meeting, I found that I was the one who had gone over and above what I needed to do, and I was the one teased. People were wondering what the hell I had to say about myself, and all I could think about was how I had actually really wanted to make sure I got the questions right, looking up "Work Ethic" and wondered the full meaning of "Give a detailed example of how you have served as an advocate in resolving a conflict."
The more I think about it, the more I wondered. At first, I felt the fool. I was the only one really taking it seriously, a paragraph for each question and still wondering if that was enough. Yet most of the questions answered had perhaps two sentences. I had many for "Describe your administrative style. Specifically include completing check-in/out procedures, room transfer process, meeting deadlines, facilitating floor meetings, etc." I mean, it seemed tedious, but I wrote it all out. And the last question, I had three paragraphs.
It could be looking too far into things, but this is the point that I realize I look at things differently from people (and perhaps don't listen well enough for my own good). Out of nine other RAs, I was the only one to go that far. I'm not saying that the other's didn't evaluate themselves--I'm sure they did a fine job, especially since some of the RAs had done this multiple times before.
Maybe this means I'm too critical of myself.
Maybe this means I like talking about myself too much.
Maybe this means I find too many things meaningful and worthwhile.
Probably all of the above.
All I know is that I could have spent most of that time doing a different paper. Or at least some more sleep.
I'm re-reading Letters From A Skeptic. I only got halfway through last time. I don't agree with everything being said, but it's nice to see a good conversation about Christianity for a change. No one is as open-minded as we think we are--me especially.
Some good music:
Magic In The Air: Badly Drawn Boy
Parade of Punk Rock T-shirts: Maritime
3 Feet Tall: I Am Kloot
Cold As Minnesota: Math & Physics Club
Nights of the Living Dead: Tilly & The Wall
Postcards From Italy: Beirut
What Will You Do When Your Suntan Fades?: Beulah
Disposable Parts: Enon
You Wouldn't Like Me: Tegan & Sara
Random Fact: New Zealand is home to 4 million people and 70 million sheep.