I figured I should point out on here to basically the nobodies that actually read this that I have started another blog.
While I will still update this one randomly, I'm actually using the other one more frequently. It contains some pretty exciting events, much more nerd/geek behavior, and will be talking a lot about my transition from leaving Minnesota--because I'm going to move to New Zealand.
Check it out: http://makinggeekchic.wordpress.com/
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
When Friendship Flips
Me:
Justin:
I usually find things like this entertaining.
I'm going to confess, I don't get it.
Me:
It's a trap, Justin.
A huge trap.
Every time you get an achievement, they show another one you can get.
Justin:
Have you fallen for it?
Me:
I believe it is an experiment they wanted to try, honestly.
I got up to 500 cookies, then an achievement for 10,000 popped up.
I would have maybe gone back to try for 3,000 later, just to see if I could do it, but I decided I would not commit myself to more. Because I know it wouldn't be just one more.
Justin:
Aren't you kind of wondering what you get at 10k?
Me:
Of course I'm curious. But I already know what it will be.
It went from 10 to 100 to 500 to 3,000 to 10,000.
The next logic step would be 50,000.
And every time, they'd be all, "Well, I got this far, why wouldn't I finish?"
Because I don't need to.
#wise
Justin:
Maybe the game changes then.
Maybe you should just commit and get there.
Can you hit return instead of click? You could get to 10k easy.
Me:
You are such a little devil, Justin.
Justin:
I'm curious.
And it surprises me a bit.
Me:
You are the bubble in Usagi's head.
Justin:
Yes, yes I am.
I just didn't picture you as a quitter.
Me:
I'm not.
I just know when to quit.
I have a good balance.
Justin:
"know when to quit" = quitter
What if at 10K you get something other than another achievement?
Me:
Why don't you find out? :)
Justin:
I just got an auto-clicker.
You need to spend some money.
Do it, Mallory.
Just get the auto-clicker and let it run.
Then click every now and again.
You'll have it by the end of the day.
Me:
Bahahahahahahahaha!
Isn't that fake winning?
Justin:
Have a total of five minutes invested.
Me:
Why don't YOU do it?!
Justin:
I am doing it.
I now have five clickers clicking every second.
And I am going to leave it all day.
Me:
OMFG
Justin:
I honestly think for a 20 minute investment in time, you could get it to be over 10k by the end of the day.
#addicted
Me:
*laughs*
I can't believe this.
I wish I were there to video record this going down.
Justin:
You're going to get me terminated.
Me:
I genuinely feel as if we have swapped places in our friendship roles.
Justin:
I usually find things like this entertaining.
I'm going to confess, I don't get it.
Me:
It's a trap, Justin.
A huge trap.
Every time you get an achievement, they show another one you can get.
Justin:
Have you fallen for it?
Me:
I believe it is an experiment they wanted to try, honestly.
I got up to 500 cookies, then an achievement for 10,000 popped up.
I would have maybe gone back to try for 3,000 later, just to see if I could do it, but I decided I would not commit myself to more. Because I know it wouldn't be just one more.
Justin:
Aren't you kind of wondering what you get at 10k?
Me:
Of course I'm curious. But I already know what it will be.
It went from 10 to 100 to 500 to 3,000 to 10,000.
The next logic step would be 50,000.
And every time, they'd be all, "Well, I got this far, why wouldn't I finish?"
Because I don't need to.
#wise
Justin:
Maybe the game changes then.
Maybe you should just commit and get there.
Can you hit return instead of click? You could get to 10k easy.
Me:
You are such a little devil, Justin.
Justin:
I'm curious.
And it surprises me a bit.
Me:
You are the bubble in Usagi's head.
Justin:
Yes, yes I am.
I just didn't picture you as a quitter.
Me:
I'm not.
I just know when to quit.
I have a good balance.
Justin:
"know when to quit" = quitter
What if at 10K you get something other than another achievement?
Me:
Why don't you find out? :)
Justin:
I just got an auto-clicker.
You need to spend some money.
Do it, Mallory.
Just get the auto-clicker and let it run.
Then click every now and again.
You'll have it by the end of the day.
Me:
Bahahahahahahahaha!
Isn't that fake winning?
Justin:
Have a total of five minutes invested.
Me:
Why don't YOU do it?!
Justin:
I am doing it.
I now have five clickers clicking every second.
And I am going to leave it all day.
Me:
OMFG
Justin:
I honestly think for a 20 minute investment in time, you could get it to be over 10k by the end of the day.
#addicted
Me:
*laughs*
I can't believe this.
I wish I were there to video record this going down.
Justin:
You're going to get me terminated.
Me:
I genuinely feel as if we have swapped places in our friendship roles.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Dragons, Duh.
Justin:
Dragons are overrated.
Me:
How would you like to die? Choking or a simple gun shot?
Justin:
Gun shot.
For sure.
Me:
I'll have that arranged for your next terrible opinion.
Justin:
I didn't say I didn't like dragons.
Just that they were overrated.
Me:
Okay, you're not right next to me, so this killing thing may take a while.
I suppose an assassin would do.
Just have to be specific with what I need to happen.
Justin:
You're going to tell me that a dragon is cooler than a pterodactyl?
Not even close.
Me:
Are you KIDDING me.
Right now.
You must be joking.
Dragons breathe motherfucking fire.
Would obviously win in a fight against a pterodactyl.
Justin:
Really.
Really.
'Dactyls actually have had to fight for their food.
Mallory:
How can that be your argument?
Justin:
Dragons are just creepy mythical figures who are blown out of proportion.
Me:
YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
They are NOT crappy, they are NOT blown out of proportion.
They COULD be mythical.
I will give you that.
Justin:
Mallory.
If dragons did exist.
I would for sure be the person who treated them like chickens.
Me:
Chickens.
Are you kidding me.
You think a dragon would even allow you to treat them as such?
They're 20 bajillion times smarter than anything on our planet.
Justin:
I'm sure they taste like chickens.
Me:
Good luck trying to prove that.
Justin:
The meat could feed a village for a week.
And since they are pretty much like rats, that's how we would treat them.
Me:
Rats.
Did you just compare dragons to rats?
Rats don't have scaled armor.
Justin:
Did you just switch to "busy" to argue this?
Me:
No. I have auto times set up so people don't bug me just before, during, and just after lunch.
Stop skirting the issue!
Justin:
Rats.
With uglier skin.
Me:
Their skin is scales!
Justin:
Me:
Did you seriously just link to this? The rat and dragon are completely different years!
KNOW YOUR CHINESE ZODIAC.
Although, cow-dragon looks awesome.
Justin:
Compared to this.
Me:
OMFG
I love that you're trying to Google School me.
Justin:
You mean you love that I won.
Me:
Justin:
Really.
Of course it would need a sword to attack a wussy old school ship.
Oooo, you're so tough.
Taking down a wind driven product.
Me:
That's to make people feel secure.
Before he burns their faces off.
Dragons are intelligent.
They can talk.
Justin:
*drops the mic*
Me:
Exhibit A: http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3011942_700b.jpg
He doesn't say Pterodactyl Kick
It's Dragon Kick
SAME GUY
BOOM
Justin:
Not even ballpark.
Always a pleasure, Mallory.
I'm going to go grab some lunch.
--hour later--
Justin:
Question.
Me:
Yes?
Justin:
You think My Little Pony is awesome, too, don't you?
Me:
No.
Justin:
Well, you like wimpy animals.
Me:
Wow
Just
Wow
Justin:
Just making an observation.
Dragons, ponies, tiny little lizards...
All similar animals.
Me:
I'll bet I can find a Japanese film of Pterodactyls vs. Dragons.
And dragons would totally win out.
Justin:
Would a pony beat a T-Rex?
Because that is pretty much what you're saying.
Me:
How tiny do you think dragons are??
Justin:
Crapping rainbows only get you so far.
Me:
That's UNICORNS.
Unicorns do not equal dragons.
Justin:
Me (lying my ass off because both sides have this):
At least there aren't romance novels about making love to dragons.
Justin:
What the h.
Me:
Look like your dino has a bit of a soft side.
Or should I say "hard"?
BOOM.
Dragons are overrated.
Me:
How would you like to die? Choking or a simple gun shot?
Justin:
Gun shot.
For sure.
Me:
I'll have that arranged for your next terrible opinion.
Justin:
I didn't say I didn't like dragons.
Just that they were overrated.
Me:
Okay, you're not right next to me, so this killing thing may take a while.
I suppose an assassin would do.
Just have to be specific with what I need to happen.
Justin:
You're going to tell me that a dragon is cooler than a pterodactyl?
Not even close.
Me:
Are you KIDDING me.
Right now.
You must be joking.
Dragons breathe motherfucking fire.
Would obviously win in a fight against a pterodactyl.
Justin:
Really.
Really.
'Dactyls actually have had to fight for their food.
Mallory:
How can that be your argument?
Justin:
Dragons are just creepy mythical figures who are blown out of proportion.
Me:
YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
They are NOT crappy, they are NOT blown out of proportion.
They COULD be mythical.
I will give you that.
Justin:
Mallory.
If dragons did exist.
I would for sure be the person who treated them like chickens.
Me:
Chickens.
Are you kidding me.
You think a dragon would even allow you to treat them as such?
They're 20 bajillion times smarter than anything on our planet.
Justin:
I'm sure they taste like chickens.
Me:
Good luck trying to prove that.
Justin:
The meat could feed a village for a week.
And since they are pretty much like rats, that's how we would treat them.
Me:
Rats.
Did you just compare dragons to rats?
Rats don't have scaled armor.
Justin:
Did you just switch to "busy" to argue this?
Me:
No. I have auto times set up so people don't bug me just before, during, and just after lunch.
Stop skirting the issue!
Justin:
Rats.
With uglier skin.
Me:
Their skin is scales!
Justin:
Me:
Did you seriously just link to this? The rat and dragon are completely different years!
KNOW YOUR CHINESE ZODIAC.
Although, cow-dragon looks awesome.
Justin:
Compared to this.
Me:
OMFG
I love that you're trying to Google School me.
Justin:
You mean you love that I won.
Me:
Justin:
Really.
Of course it would need a sword to attack a wussy old school ship.
Oooo, you're so tough.
Taking down a wind driven product.
Me:
That's to make people feel secure.
Before he burns their faces off.
Dragons are intelligent.
They can talk.
Justin:
*drops the mic*
Me:
Exhibit A: http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3011942_700b.jpg
He doesn't say Pterodactyl Kick
It's Dragon Kick
SAME GUY
BOOM
Justin:
Not even ballpark.
Always a pleasure, Mallory.
I'm going to go grab some lunch.
--hour later--
Justin:
Question.
Me:
Yes?
Justin:
You think My Little Pony is awesome, too, don't you?
Me:
No.
Justin:
Well, you like wimpy animals.
Me:
Wow
Just
Wow
Justin:
Just making an observation.
Dragons, ponies, tiny little lizards...
All similar animals.
Me:
I'll bet I can find a Japanese film of Pterodactyls vs. Dragons.
And dragons would totally win out.
Justin:
Would a pony beat a T-Rex?
Because that is pretty much what you're saying.
Me:
How tiny do you think dragons are??
Justin:
Crapping rainbows only get you so far.
Me:
That's UNICORNS.
Unicorns do not equal dragons.
Justin:
Me (lying my ass off because both sides have this):
At least there aren't romance novels about making love to dragons.
Justin:
What the h.
Me:
Look like your dino has a bit of a soft side.
Or should I say "hard"?
BOOM.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Strong Points
Justin:
MALLORY
I just found a butter candy in the bottom of my bag.
How old is it? No clue.
Did I eat it immediately? Yes.
Me:
As long as it isn't in the street next to garbage cans.
Justin:
#wouldstilleatit
Me:
Do you realize how easy it would be to kidnap you?
How did this not happen to you as a child?
A white van, a Werther's, and you're gone.
Justin:
Totally.
And I'd like it.
I would have gotten out of it.
Those creepy old man clown persons couldn't keep me contained.
Me:
Unless they had a bowl of Werther's at your beck and call.
Justin:
It's not kidnapping if you go willingly.
Me:
And now I'm wondering about the legitimacy of your child.
Justin:
As you should.
I wish I had a tatt of an eagle across my entire back.
Me:
I can get a Kickstarter going for you, if you wish.
Make this dream come true.
Justin:
How much do you think it would cost?
Me:
If you want it the length of your back? $800-$1,000 if you want full color and really good detail. Maybe more, depending on who you got it from.
Justin:
Really?
Tatts are spendy, apparently.
Me:
Yeah, it was $120 for the one I got...four years ago? And it is black and white, maybe a little over six inches in length, two inches in width.
(a quill)
Justin:
I was going to ask what it was.
That's kind of fun!
Where is it?
Me:
You think it was a penis?
It's on my ankle, going down onto my foot.
One day, I will get words written, maybe.
Justin:
Ooo! Ooo!
Will you please have it read:
"Dysentery sucks. OT 1989 4 life."
Me:
I feel like that should be in a heart on your arm.
Justin:
Next to "mom"
Me:
Next to two tear drops.
You know, for the homies that didn't make it.
Justin:
I think we should draw tatts for people.
We're really good at this.
Me:
I'm sorry, but I am laughing really hard right now because I am imagining the picture you drew me with you forging across the ocean to India.
And thinking of the poor soul who would get that as a tattoo.
Although, I will admit, best image of a dead ox ever.
Justin:
#nailedit
I should quit while I've made you laugh.
Me:
Quitting while you're ahead is no one's strong point.
MALLORY
I just found a butter candy in the bottom of my bag.
How old is it? No clue.
Did I eat it immediately? Yes.
Me:
As long as it isn't in the street next to garbage cans.
Justin:
#wouldstilleatit
Me:
Do you realize how easy it would be to kidnap you?
How did this not happen to you as a child?
A white van, a Werther's, and you're gone.
Justin:
Totally.
And I'd like it.
I would have gotten out of it.
Those creepy old man clown persons couldn't keep me contained.
Me:
Unless they had a bowl of Werther's at your beck and call.
Justin:
It's not kidnapping if you go willingly.
Me:
And now I'm wondering about the legitimacy of your child.
Justin:
As you should.
I wish I had a tatt of an eagle across my entire back.
Me:
I can get a Kickstarter going for you, if you wish.
Make this dream come true.
Justin:
How much do you think it would cost?
Me:
If you want it the length of your back? $800-$1,000 if you want full color and really good detail. Maybe more, depending on who you got it from.
Justin:
Really?
Tatts are spendy, apparently.
Me:
Yeah, it was $120 for the one I got...four years ago? And it is black and white, maybe a little over six inches in length, two inches in width.
(a quill)
Justin:
I was going to ask what it was.
That's kind of fun!
Where is it?
Me:
You think it was a penis?
It's on my ankle, going down onto my foot.
One day, I will get words written, maybe.
Justin:
Ooo! Ooo!
Will you please have it read:
"Dysentery sucks. OT 1989 4 life."
Me:
I feel like that should be in a heart on your arm.
Justin:
Next to "mom"
Me:
Next to two tear drops.
You know, for the homies that didn't make it.
Justin:
I think we should draw tatts for people.
We're really good at this.
Me:
I'm sorry, but I am laughing really hard right now because I am imagining the picture you drew me with you forging across the ocean to India.
And thinking of the poor soul who would get that as a tattoo.
Although, I will admit, best image of a dead ox ever.
Justin:
#nailedit
I should quit while I've made you laugh.
Me:
Quitting while you're ahead is no one's strong point.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Same Page
It's been a long couple of days, and I am viciously tired enough to actually sound tired at work.
Me: *answering phone* Hi.
Me: Um?
Dotted-line Boss: I cc'd you on the email. It was due yesterday.
Me: Let me look it up--it doesn't sound familiar.
Dotted-line Boss: I cc'd you on the email... Joe didn't talk to you about any of it?
Me: Nope. I'm looking at the email right now.
Dotted-line Boss: I'll forward it to you.
Me: Well, I'm looking at it--
Dotted-line Boss: Just sent it.
Me: Okay... *staring at the email and looking through to find nothing of interest--it looks like junk mail, and a 3-day course on developing leadership, which the company is very insistent upon, but I rarely ever pay attention to as I consider them time wasters*
Dotted-line Boss: Did you get it?
Me: Yes, I'm looking at it. Joe hasn't said anything, and I'm not seeing emails that he could have sent to Therace about it.
Dotted-line Boss: Could you get it to me by the end of morning? I mean, they were due yesterday, and we need the names asap.
Me: Sure--I'll send him an email--
Dotted-line Boss: And make sure the names are in order of prioritization.
Me: I'll let him know.
I triple check the emails while my boss finishes up the call he is on, thinking, How is this considered important? This is where I don't get the company I work for. Emphasis on things that we force people to do when there are obviously other things we could be focusing on. Like work. A special and rare workshop I get, but these happen four times a year.
My boss comes out of his office to leave for his next meeting.
Me: Hey, did you get the email I forwarded to you?
Boss: No, what's up?
Me: There's a leadership development course that needs to have candidates, and the names need to be sent over. Apparently, they were due yesterday.
Boss: *stares at me*
Me: And Jenny called because she needs the names before the morning ends.
Boss: *stares at me*
Me: It was sent last Friday. *brings email up so he can look it in my computer* They need the names you refer in a list of prioritization, of who you think should be able to go first. It's for a course on leadership? *scroll through the email* To nominate team members to know things about...leadership?
Boss: Yeah, I know. I just don't care about that shit, so I always ignore it. I don't have anyone to tell them.
Me: Get me someone before noon?
Boss: *sighs* Yeah, I'll get someone... *walks away, muttering* ...waste of time...
And that is why my boss and I get along so well.
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