Reviewing my week thus far, I know I questioned mine. Sanity, I mean.
Things I Legit-ly Thought About This Week Alone:
- I wonder if that brown plastic chair on the side of the road was once used for tea parties?
- How is it that Hall & Oates can make me so happy?
- How did that bruise on my apple get there? It wasn't there this morning... Maybe it's poisoned. Like Snow White. Is that a thing? I'm hungry. Poison is worth this hunger.
- Do I really own an entire series about a world involving vampires? I do. Huh.
- Do I really own, not one, but two 'The Sims' games? I do. Huh.
- The brown plastic chair must have been for a camping trip, not tea parties. Why would I think tea parties?
- I could be judging too quick--OH GOD I NEVER WANT TO SEE THAT FACE AGAIN!
- I wonder, if Leonardo died, would Donatello be the one to step up and be the next leader? Or would Ralph be a dick about it and take over? Mikey would eat some pizza and watch some television while that was debated out.
- Why can't I ever keep my mouth shut? The opinions: shove them down your throat and let the acids of your stomach smother their need to be heard.
- Ugh, I can't not say something.
- Do I really deserve this much attention? I'm hearing myself, and I'm thinking not.
- Why doesn't anyone listen to me?!
- How is there even one person in our nation who doesn't know Peanut Butter Jelly Time...
- Eye makeup, tell me all of your secrets.
- My coworker is somehow my friend soul mate. I just know it.
- I think I may have a certain sense of humor.
- Although, tea parties are super fun. Maybe if you decorated the chairs?
- Yep. Going to hell. For humor.
- I'm sorry, but if you can't even have proper punctuation, I'm not paying attention to you.
- I can't stop eating this Chex Mix. There has to be MSG in it! I can't stop! What's in these? No MSG? HOW DO I EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE WHY I ATE HALF A BAG OF YOU?!
- A rapping Jew is in my music playlist. Maybe this is why I'm single.
- My brother won't like this, but I'm making a pact that if I see one more spider in this bathroom, I'm burning it all down.
- People must think I'm so popular! Too bad it's just Joss Whedon tweeting like a maniac because of Much Ado About Nothing. #notgoingtosayotherwise
- THAT is considered a 100% match? THAT is what I have been missing out on all this time? I'm suddenly thinking me being single forever should be a concern I need to accept.
- Why does everyone have the need to reproduce? This has to be a virus I'm immune to.
- Would I be prettier if I lost some weight? Probably. I'm eating this dark chocolate anyway.
- If I don't have the words to Frozen Sleep completely memorized to the point singing without listening to it at the same time by the end of today, I've accomplished nothing.
- You could probably trade your Magic card for some dignity. Good sweet Jesus, I'm a total bitch. I'm texting this to Robin. She'd appreciate this.
- I wish Just Dance were a legit thing in clubs. I'd be the fucking belle of the ball.
- If Spider-Man were real, I'm guessing I'd have at least a 17% chance of my arachnophobia coming into play. Probably closer to 78%.
- Why don't people think I'm ever insecure? Don't they see me being more myself to cover up the fact that I'm myself? It's a terrible idea!
- How did I get convinced that global warming is more likely an empty threat? I should probably spend at least two more hours on TedTalks to figure this out.
- Is it legal to like Jeff Goldblum as much as I do? Maybe I should stop saying it out loud so much...
- I simply have the best of friends in all the land. I am disgustingly, pukingly happy right now. And I could gush about it all day.
For those wondering how I remembered all of those, it would be because I was only going back a couple of days. I also only chose the more interesting ones. Probably 98% of my thoughts are, "My life rules so much. I hope life stays this great forever. I think I'm going to make popcorn tonight, and have a side of ice cream."
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