Saturday, August 4, 2012
What, I Have To?
Despite having never truly been, I have always believed love should be easy. It's a natural, free state that requires nothing in return. And yet, it seems to be the most difficult thing in the world to describe, to show. Love, to me, should be like rain: soothing, yet loud. Gentle, yet makes it's mark. It washes the soul to make it fresh, ready to grow. I do not believe there is such a thing as too much love. Although some can drown in it, and it may take some time to recover, true and honest love, unselfish love--one cannot get enough. There are days when I bask in love. My mischievous-love comes out to play many times. It's shown through pokes and teases, a smirk and my eyes dancing in laughter. My affectionate-love typically goes hand-in-hand with my mischief. My teasing is accompanied with a snuggle, my poke with a kiss. If you know me, my smile shows just how much I adore your presence. Tough love is my rare love. I use this love when I've had enough. When my other love isn't listened to. When, simply put, you need to get over it--and so do I. Although there are many other types, true love I've never had. Perhaps this is because I believe that type of love to be the most complicated and hard to obtain. It's filled with compromise, forgiveness, and definitely stamina to stand the test of time. At it's core is friendship. It isn't like the blockbuster films, it cannot be contained in a little box with a delightful bow on top. One cannot assume they've found their true love without trials and tribulations. You don't fuck with this kind of love. I'm not one to conform (as many of my family will tell you). I have my way of going about things, and the more you push me one way, the more likely I am to go the other in defiance. This is mostly due to the fact that I want my decisions to be my own, not because I saw everyone get into a line. Too often, people stand there, not even knowing what they're standing for, but they saw the line, and everyone seemed to have a good purpose for it, so why not do it yourself? And true love isn't a conformity. Not really, in our world. How many people have gotten married and divorced this year? How many people are on their third marriage? It common, and not shameful, to have to go through this much trail and error to find who you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with. But I'm not one to conform. I want it right the first time. None of the bullshit. Straight to the punch. One day, I'll get it right, because, my other belief? When you know, you know.