Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Oh, Freaking A, Gross!

So, tonight, Tanya and I saw how gorgeous the moon looked, and, since I had my camera, we thought, What better time to go to the lake and take some pictures.

As we got closer, the moon looked like a painting, unreal and almost pasted into place. The water was smooth, gentle. Only the slightest ripple showed in the perfect reflection of light.

Following Tanya, as she'd seen some ducks, we went out on the dock and cooed over how cute they were, then marveled at how perfect a scene the moon made.

And then...

Me: Tanya, look over there!
Tanya: What?
Me: That long streaky thing. Is that a fish?
Tanya: I don't see anything.
Me: Seriously, it's out by that shadowy thing... Is it an eel? It's all quivery.
Tanya: We don't have eels.
Me: ...

I shrugged it off since she couldn't see it, and then we turned around to look at the shallower waters by the landing dock--it was filled with them.

Leeches. Stretching out to be half a foot long, at least, quivering along as they swam among the crayfish. Tons of them, grouped together, like some sort of jelly-like colony. Swimming to the surface and flexing along the bottom. They were huge.

I suddenly began describing my old film of Attack of the Giant Leeches, where it was such an old film that the leeches were very obvious in the fact that it was humans dressed up in rubbery costumes that left huge marks on these people's bodies after they'd dragged them off from land and placed them in an underwater cave to feed from later. The not even scary movie placed among not even comparison sized leeches freaked us out.

As we left the docks, me feeling the beautiful moon spoiled by creatures that creep my shit (ugh), I said, "God, I'm going to have nightmares. I mean, I'm all for the sucky blood thing when it comes to the whole vampire thing, but leeches?" I shivered all over, feeling grotesque. "I'm going to have this nightmare where I'll be all lovey-dovey with a vamp, and he'll turn into a leech."

"Yeah, watch," Tanya said, laughing a bit. "He'll lean right into your neck, but when he latches on, you'll realize he's a leech and he'll be all wrapped around your neck and stuff."

And now, I will have nightmares about this. Ugh, seriously. Gross.

I will never swim in this lake. Ever!.

Random Fact: The leech has 32 brains - 31 more than a human. I.E. We're fucked.

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