What a Disappointment

I'm in the middle of watching Across The Universe. It's probably... really bad. Like, really bad. Given, I'm in the middle of the film, but it's bloody bad.

I don't like the interpretation, the (predictable) plot line or this so-called "greatest love story."

The music is great and fancy, I suppose, but I'm not impressed in the least. I feel like I've wasted fifteen bucks on something I could have done better with a crappy camera and amateur actors, which is how these guys seem to be anywho. The songs seem forced at points.

I'm beginning to think that the love in all this is only because it has to do with The Beatles. All of that money to get the rights, and this is what they came up with.

And I just saw unnecessary nudity. Really? Was it needed?

I'm all together in a bad mood anyway. I'm so sick of relationships, I could throw something out a window, smashing the glass seven stories down to a disgusting death.

Yet it seems to be the only thing anyone can talk about. Left and right, it's something about this boy, something about that girl, something that someone has that another hasn't. It's like some contest of love that I'm finally deciding not to be apart of. Who has more admirers? Or love interests? Complications in general? Who can ignore the other better in any sense?

I don't want to have to prove myself. That's not what love or infatuation or like is about. You can't make rules for love. You can't keep a list of people to "hope for," and have "just in case."

Maybe it's because I've never been in a relationship and the movies/music has distorted my vision of how it's supposed to go down, but I didn't think this would be any part of it.

While talking with Martha, The Cutting Edge 3 (worst anything ever, by the way) was playing in the background. Lines such as "I've only ever loved you!" and "I'll only skate with you... forever!" were dropped, where I started laughing my ass off. Given, worst acting in many careers, but it's kind of sad that sentences like "You're the only one for me," make me gag, yet that's what I look for in a relationship. It's something we expect, yet we're told not to expect anything because it's unnatural to expect such things.

I suppose that it comes to a point where anything close to a gentleman or chivalry, as I've only seen it in fairy tales or in already made relationships, you begin to believe that it doesn't exist. And when you finally do see it, it's a show or a joke.

As I continue to draw myself further and further from the situation, my "patience is a virtue" coming into play, I wonder which direction I'm suppose to fly. Taking a chance isn't an option anymore, as I feel my heart receding into it's old spot it remembers so well. I can't be convinced with metaphors or proof of a their skills with or around someone else.

I'm not a bumble bee. I don't know the dance to show how to get me, except for you to be yourself and show me that you have the same affection to me as I do to you.

The movie just ended. It was a disappointment, truthfully. But I still got that happy-fluttering feeling in my heart as everyone came back together as they should have.

Damn expectations.

Random Fact: Studies by Dr. Karl F. Robinson of Northwestern University reportedly prove that men change their minds two or three times more often than do women.