Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Trigger Happy

As in TV. Not like me shooting everyone. That's just crazy.

I wear crosses. But I'm not sure why. I mean, I know why. The one around my neck belonged to my mother at her age, so I wear it to remind me that she's here for me. I wear those cross earrings because they were once my aunt's. But I'm not exactly religious (if anything, more spiritual). I don't go to church. I'm not even sure if I can say that "Jesus Christ saves my soul."

In fact, if someone demanded me to make a decision on a religion right now, based on what I know, I'd just become a Jedi. Not only would it be cool, but they seem to have some fancy benefits I could enjoy. And maybe if I believe enough, I could actually use the force. For cereal.

But this doesn't override the fact that I wear a cross for no other reason than for sentimental value towards anything but Jesus. I mean, in all reality, didn't god tell us not to make idols and worship them? Of course, as I said, I don't go to church and haven't exactly gone towards methods to fully inform myself so I know everything I should know before forming a solid opinion.

But I wonder if I could ever get up that final courage to make a decision. It's a lot of commitment to come out and say it. It's kind of like declaring what political stance you hold. By saying you're a democrat or republican or anything, you automatically are placed with what they believe unless you specify otherwise, which takes a lot of time and effort. To say I'm Christian, I'd have to explain a lot about what I do and don't agree with. To say I'm Jewish, I'd have to explain a lot about waht I do and don't agree with. To say I'm Buddhist, I'd have... Well, actually, I agree with a lot they have to say.

I guess I just seem to have a different meaning than what most would have. If I took the meaning for what it is, I'd dread to wear a cross because I'd always be thinking of a man who's better than me, who sacrificed himself in the most bloodiest of ways so I could live this boring, uninteresting life. It wouldn't be a favorite piece of jewlery for every-day-wear anymore.

If anything, I do have high respect for the man. When really thought about, whether he is the son of God or not, to have so much faith in something, know that one is going to die and going forth with it anyway, I have a very high respect for him. Because I'm not sure I could do it. But to die for one's beliefs, whether we believe them or not... at least they were loyal, a rare quality of today's time. He was ready to die and go through that much pain because he knew it would be the better for us all. And whether or not that is true, he stuck with it.

In the end, I'm sure I'll have some epiphany of where I truly am to be. I'm not sure how long it'll take, but it'll be an interesting moment in the history of Mallory.

In other news, Malloryland will soon declare war upon another millimeter of America.

Random Fact: In 1976 an LA secretary named Jannene Swift officially married a 50 pound rock in a ceremony witnessed by more than 20 people.


Anonymous said...

I lOve you mallory. But I disagree on your boring uninteresting life. You live a wonderful exciting life! I believe you have a true kind heart. That alone is a rare thing to have this day. You will find your faith. And you will shine it in your everyday life. You already do. Believe.... believe
believe. I believe in you.

Keal said...

you are right mallory, you are boring. i am awesome